Conquering Sin!

*DISCLAIMER*  This post contains content somewhat more explicit in nature than my normal posts and I will be being completely open, just a heads up.  *DISCLAIMER*



How do I approach and handle temptations, struggles, and times I fail?  How do I approach and handle the times where I'm doing well and following God?  A book I've been reading recently has shown me several things about those questions.  If you haven't noticed the theme of books and how they make me think then let me point it out to you.  A good book can make you look at something from someone else's perspective or in a light you'd never seen before.  This is one of the reasons I write, because it's possible I might be able to do that to somebody.  One day.

Anyway, back to the book.  Simply put, it is the book of Hosea from the Bible turned into a story and set in the gold rush era of the 1850's.  If the first thing you think of when I say that it's a book of the Bible turned into a story is that it sounds boring, I would recommend that you get your hands on this book and tell me when you're done with it how boring it was.  The name of the book is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, although a word of caution, it has some more grown up themes and portrays them in an honest light so proceed with care.

If you are unfamiliar with the book of Hosea, then I'll give you a brief synopsis.  The book of Hosea is about the prophet Hosea who God calls to get married.  Now this might shock you a little bit, but God calls him to marry a woman out of prostitution named Gomer.  Not exactly the model wife many people are looking for when they feel like God wants them to get married.  But that is far from the end of the end of the book; she leaves Hosea and goes back to prostitution.  God calls Hosea to bring her back and to restore her to her place as his wife.  It doesn't end there; she leaves him again for prostitution.  Again he's called to bring her back and restore her.  Again she leaves and he chases after her.  At this point you might think Hosea's mad and God's cruel, but God's plan is much greater than this.  He is trying to show Israel that they have been Gomer to God, constantly leaving Him to go back to their previous sins.

Now that the base work has been set, let's dive in!

I'd like to say starting off that this isn't my first time reading this book, and to me this is a testament about the power of story and the power of truth.  But as I've been reading through this time something has been hitting me hard, and I can't help but identify with Angel, Hosea's wife in Redeeming Love, at what I feel and how I deal with it.  In the story Hosea loves Angel unconditionally even when she is unfaithful, and because of her past Angel feels unworthy of this love and doesn't believe it can last, thinking sooner or later things will go back to how they used to because they always have.

This is where I fall in.  In the times that I'm following God and doing well spiritually, I think, "This can't last, sooner or later I'm going to fall."  This comes from past experience after past experience, every time I gain a foothold over the sin that so easily creeps into my life it crumbles and I go right back to where I was.  A few years ago I fall into it and wallow in it as well as my grief, and up till now I've started repenting and turning back to God as soon as I fall.  Ironically this is incredibly similar to how the story goes with Angel.  When she's restored to Hosea and forgiven she still thinks, "This won't last, what I once was I always will be."

For the sake of being open and honest I'll share what's on my heart.  I've struggled with masturbation and pornography since the beginning of high school, they are struggles that once engrained are incredibly hard to get rid of.  Many times I have been able to put them behind me, sometimes for long periods of time, but I keep looking forward to the next time I fall, trying to avoid it at all costs.  But fall I do.  Then I let God pick me back up and keep going, trying again not to fall.

But there's something really cool about the story, it shows me something I know in a way that applies to something I don't know.  Angel can be free, she can be free of her past if she simply asks for forgiveness from the One who can and will forgive those who ask, and the One who renews us and gives us a new start.  Then it hit me.  God's done the same thing for me.  Now it's easy to nod and say yes, of course God's given me a new start, but I'm still going to fall because this can't last, it's who I was and sooner or later I'll fall.  Or even simply saying, I'm just human.

But it's not true!  God's changed us and now we don't have to be our old selves anymore!  It's something I've seen in the story and God's shown me through it in the past week.  He's shown me that He's greater than sin, He Loves me more than I'll ever know, and I am new, there is no more old me anymore.  I used to think of my past and how I'd failed, then look to the future when I'd fail again.  I of course hid it behind trying to do better and telling myself I didn't want to fall and so I had to know how not to.  But as I kept my focus on not failing I lost focus on the only one that keep me from failing, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit in me.

So where does this leave me now?  I still have this habit I've formed over the years of looking back and even though I'm free of sin I still have the habits I've made.  Well it's time to break some habits!  The cool thing is, I can never sin again.  Now the logical side of me jumps in here and says, "Well yes, you CAN not sin again, but because of your flesh you likely will..."  Well I'm sick of that.  I'm done with being logical for a change.  I have God in me and He's given me freedom from sin, I can never sin again through His grace.  So what do I do with these old habits?  Well first off I need to recenter myself on the one thing that matters, God.  So whenever I feel my desires rising within me, seeking immediate gratification, I'm going to turn to the Bible.  Instead of seeking something that I think will fill the need I have, I will seek that which I know is enough for any need I may have.

Now this is easier said than done,...aaaand there's that logical side of me coming out again.  I thought I told you to leave!  Well, being honest, without that logical side messing me up, I can't do this on my own.  I have a tendency to be quite self reliant, and this is something I won't be able to do on my own, I've tried before.  But I have God in me, the Holy Spirit, I have an advocate before the the Father, Jesus Christ, and I have a Father in heaven who Loves me and will not try to make me stumble.  So I look forward without looking back, I look forward with a hope and confidence that's not in myself but in one far greater than me, and I look forward to the joy and growth God has for me as close as tomorrow and as far away as my last breath on earth!  And I step onward to the struggles of today and the sanctification that only Jesus brings!


Stepping Forward in Faith, Not in Failure,
Joshua

The Power of Prayer

Well I just finished the book This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti.  If you haven't hear of either the book or the author I would recommend you looking them up, as Frank Peretti is a phenomenal author and the book is extremely well done.

While the book is amazing and the whole story is something I could write about, a very particular part of it stuck out to me.

Meet Hank Busche, a pastor in a small town that the book revolves around, he's a man of God and one thing you find out about him pretty quickly is that he prays.  He prays as he mows the church lawn, he prays as he's walking, he prays for those in his church as there is a vote of confidence about him coming up, and he prays in his home with his wife.  Even though he isn't always actually praying, he is constantly listening to the Holy Spirit's prompting and is willing to drop on his knees at the drop of a hat.

And that's what starts the whole book.  When you get to the end of the book you find out that his one prayer couldn't have won the war.  But it did, his one prayer is what won the war because it was him praying that started the war.  This one man's prayers are what brought the host of heaven into the battle for the town.

One man.  One praying man.  One man interceding in prayer for the town and laboring as the Spirit led him.  That's all it takes.  One man brought revival.
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But he didn't.  He didn't bring revival.  He failed, he messed up, and he couldn't handle it.  It was only the Spirit of God that changed hearts, the Name of Jesus that cast out demons, and the plan of God that worked out a marvelous victory.  And that's not something that can be overlooked, glossed over, or made light of.  Yet God used one man to start change, a revival even.

This floored me, the man didn't even do it all himself and he wasn't the object of the story, but God used his faith and actions to change a town and the hearts and lives of those there.

And that's when God asked me, "Are you ready and willing to change the lives and hearts of those around you?  Are you ready to be the push that starts an avalanche?  Are you ready to step out in faith?"  I wasn't quite sure what to say at that moment.  My first thoughts were along the lines of, "Well how can I do that?  I know you use us to accomplish your tasks, but I'm no pastor, I'm just a broken man.  Do my prayers really have that kind of impact?"  The resounding answer was yes.  In fact I know it's my prayers that matter, not on my own but as I join with the saints and we petition the Lord and cast our burdens on Him, as we pray for those around us, and as we humble ourselves to be used by God.

Something happened to me after I finished the book, I realized that revival wouldn't start without me.  Now not to say that it will only take me or that I am this special tipping force, but when I think that it's someone else's job or my prayers have no effect and that they're powerless is when nothing will happen.  But this extends to you, if it takes just one man to start a revival and just one man to start a war then what are you doing?  Are you on your knees praying for that revival, praying for those around you that need help?  Well if you are there's one more step, well one more of many.  You need to step out in faith and start being the revival you're praying for.  You need to serve those around you, seek to help and grow them closer to Christ, and encourage those around you to do the same.

This is when the revival starts, with one person praying.  One person interceding.  With one person humbling themselves and serving.

This is where revival starts, with you, and with me.  I'm starting.  Starting to to pray for the town I'm in, the people I'm around, and the hearts I can't see.

Revival's not going to come because we are good speakers, we have well thought out services, or we are culturally relevant.  Change is going to start with dropping on our knees and interceding before God for those around us, being burdened for the lost and being willing to serve wherever God's called you.

The revival starts here.  The revival starts now.  Now is the time to fall on your knees.  Now is the time to serve those around you.  Now is the time for the Spirit to work, and we have the privilege and the burden to be the ones asking the Father to move.  We have the privilege and the burden to be the ones used by God to move.


One Man on His Knees,
Joshua

Coming Undone

Come undone,
Surrender is stronger
I don't need to be the hero tonight

We all want Love
We all want Honor
Nobody wants to pay the asking price

This has been running through my head in the past few days.  I have been looking forward to Cornerstone for the past couple weeks and how God will use me this year.  But as I look at everything that's going on in preparation for college and think about what I'll be doing there I have a profound sense of...pointlessness.  Why am I spending my time and money to get an education so I can get a job and make money and live a life.  Why is that what I'm trying to do?  There are still people who haven't heard the gospel, there are people that need to be discipled, and there are people that are willing to listen.  Why am I not trying to reach out to them?  Instead I'm trying to get a piece of paper saying I learned something useful.

That's how I feel right now.  Very much not wanting to be where I'm at.

But this is where God has me, He's shown me time and time again He's providing for me and has a plan for me.  But I don't want to be here, I want to be out reaching out to others!  I am willing to go and serve, I am willing to do whatever God tells me, I am willing to no longer be comfortable.  But where am I, living in comfort and luxury while my brothers and sisters suffer for their faith and while people die never even knowing about Christ.

This is pulling my heart apart, I feel like I'm supposed to be here but I want to be there!

Then my mind goes back to that song, that chorus.

Come undone,
Surrender is stronger
I don't need to be the hero tonight

I need to stop trying to figure this out, "Come undone," I need to stop wanting to do something and let God's will work though me, "Surrender is stronger," and even though I want to be the one bringing the gospel to those people right now it's not my place, "I don't need to be the hero tonight."

I don't like it.  It feels so hard to hear about the possibility to serve while I'm planning to go to school, live in a comfortable room, eat three meals a day, and have my biggest worry be whether or not I'll get an A or a B in my classes.  Everything around me is so comfortable that I am no longer comfortable here.  Yet, this is where I am.  This is where God's put me.  I will follow His direction and guidance to Love those around me, encourage them to pursue Christ, and be waiting on His next directions.  No matter if they are to be a servant to those here or to head overseas to be a servant there.  I can serve in both places(But between you and me, I'd rather be overseas).

So as I look at this mess I am reminded of a verse, Matthew 16:24

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me."

Oddly enough what sticks out to me right now about this verse is not what is normally taken out of it; I hear God telling me that I must deny MY desires right now and focus on His plans for me in the here and now, not desire to be overseas and serving there.  God has a plan for me here and instead of wanting to be overseas serving I need to follow His lead and serve those here right now.  Never thought God'd be talking me out of going overseas right now, but here's praying He's calling me there in the future!


Struggling to Serve In the Here and Now,
Joshua

Even the Rocks Cry Out His Glory

So if you haven't been keeping up with me lately I am currently cleaning out my life, both metaphorically and physically.  Today has been no exception, getting rid of a stuffed trash bag of clothes and throwing even more junk out.  But as I was sorting through stuff I had brought back form camp I came across a rock.  For those that are curious, I had a rather large rock collection before this week; I like shiny, sparkly, and unusual things, and rocks are no exception.  However, it has rapidly dwindled down to a mere handful that might even disappear before this week's out.  The rock I found from camp had been given to me by someone asking me to describe it.  Now this rock is rather plain, slightly oddly shaped, and totally devoid of anything that would have made me pick it up if it had been me; however, it hadn't been me and I gave it my best try.  I sat looking at it for some time actually, trying to find some feature of the rock to expound upon and bring out its beauty.  But in the end I found essentially nothing, an incredibly small area that sparkled being the only part that stood out to me but, as a whole, that sparkly part faded in comparison to the ugliness of the rest of the rock.

So I went to describe the rock to them with nothing good to really say about it.  I don't remember the conversation perfectly, just that I said the rock had no redeeming qualities but because someone had given it value it was now worth something.  I went on to say that I was going to keep it and some day in the future it would be put in some place important.

So today as I picked it up I wondered what to do with it, it isn't necessary at all and I'd thrown out many more worthy rocks in the past couple days.  The thought to toss it crossed my mind but it was replaced by the fact I said I'd keep it and the promise I'd made to the rock that it'd placed in a place of importance.  So what did I do, well as any good person would do I wrote up a contract of sorts and signed it.  The contract goes like this-

Destined for something greater than its circumstances, this rock has a place among kings not because of its worth but because of the worth given it by the one who holds it.  It will not get there on its own strength but by the strength given it.

This rock shall be given a place of importance.

Joshua Falk: Joshua Falk

Now this might have seemed somewhat childish, but as I finished writing this up I was suddenly struck by a little something I like to call "Biblical application," which I see everywhere.  One of those curses/blessings of being a writer and seeing everything through a different lens.  Usually Biblical application is something corny but true that pertains to the circumstances at hand, but this time I stopped as I examined all the different facets of what it meant.

First off we are the rock, if this is where your mind went to instantly then good job but it keeps going.  In and of ourselves we are worthless to God, perhaps there are those few good work we tote as our badge of "generosity" or "selflessness" that are the sparkly part of our lives, but when you actually look at our lives as a whole we are ugly and worthless.  In everything we do we can't get anywhere, make ourselves worth something, or make ourselves seen by those passing by.  And even if we are seen, if we're not pretty, people keep walking.  Sound bleak yet?  Still going.  We are open to the elements of life that wear us away until we are ground into the dirt that people walk on every day.

At this point I don't like being compared to a rock, it can hit far too close to home sometimes.  But it doesn't have to end there.  You see this rock had something special happen to it, even though it wasn't pretty, useful, or needed it was chosen.  This is just the start.  This rock wasn't just picked up and pocketed, it was given a purpose and given worth.  Right now that actually sounds rather appealing.

From there it gets even better.  The rock was examined for anything worthy in and of itself, and was found lacking; however, despite its lack of worth, it was given worth and it was given a special spot in my heart.  It was taken under my protection and my care, well metaphorically speaking, and I made a purpose for it that would put it in a place of importance in the future.  It was promised this and it was given proof that it will be carried out, on my word.

If you haven't gotten it by now I am talking about our relationship to God.  We are utterly worthless to Him and He still chooses to use us and give us worth.  We have no strength on our own to get to a place of worth but He gives us the strength by leading and carrying us there.

My mind breaks things down and cross examines stuff to the extreme, it's part of my personality and how my mind works.  At times it can be a hard to deal with but in this case as I kept looking at how rich of an example this is I was left floored.  I am a gray smudge on the ground amidst a million other gray smudges, but God reached down and picked me up, giving me a purpose and giving me worth.  He didn't merely pocket me, He promised me a place of importance and promised to guide and carry me there.  Now I must follow Him with everything I have.  I guess this is where the analogy breaks down, nothing's perfect.

But that's what God showed me as I looked upon a piece of worthless stone, I saw myself reflected in its dull gray exterior.  This is what awed me, this mere piece of our planet is bringing glory to its creator by simply pointing me to what the God of the universe did for me.  To me, now, the stones shall always cry out the glory of God.

But Jesus answered, “I tell you ... the stones will cry out!” - Luke 19:40

Constantly In Awe of My God,
Joshua

Past Words of Wisdom to the Future

So I went through my room today and started to get rid of everything I don't need and and don't use(the reasons behind this could be a post unto themselves, but for now I'll focus on what I found while digging through piles of junk).  As I was throwing stuff out left and right I stumbled across two very interesting things that I haven't read in a very long time.  The first was a letter I had written to myself several years ago as part of a youth group I went to when I was in high school, and the second were my journals from when I was young up until now.

Now if that isn't a recipe for disaster I don't know what is, haha.  Well they started back in 2002 when I was about nine and there wasn't much to glean from those pages, to say the least.  Simple entries of having fun and who I hung out with were all that filled those pages(and also, I'm ashamed to admit, who I had a crush on).  This pretty much continued for the next six years, with my spelling and grammar only improving minutely, and while it was interesting to see how I changed over the years I didn't seem to grow much.  Then there's a gap, from mid 2008 to the beginning of 2011 there's nothing written.  As I read that first entry after two and a half years of silence, something instantly jumped out at me; I had changed.

The instant reaction is sure, after two and a half years everyone changes.  But this wasn't an increase in maturity or intellect, it was a change of focus.  I was no longer writing about what I did and the fun I had, but about how I'd grown and what I still had to grow into.  This is a result of the summer before I started writing again, which was when I accepted Jesus as the savior of my life and started to follow Him.

Now this seems nice and all but what's the point?  Well as I looked at my writing from two years ago, both in my journal and in the letter I'd written to myself, I saw something that truly shocked me.  What I wrote rang with a truth that hit me even as I read it now.  Now I find this strange because when I wrote it I wasn't following God, I was struggling with several major problems that kept me from fully following Him.  If I went back two years and  half years to when I was writing this I would appalled at how I was living and calling myself a follower of Christ; however, I had surrendered my life to Christ and even though I wasn't following Him fully, His truth was in me and that's what He guided me to write.

That's the beginning of what God showed me in the words of the spiritual baby I was, that truth never changes.  I might have been following God halfway, but if He is in me then His truth is in me and that truth never changes.  So what did I write down you may ask, well that's a great question.  And, since this blog is about my thoughts, I will let you see some of what I was writing.

"What is Love?  Is it a feeling, is it an act, is it a commitment?  When one says one Loves, can they know the depth of what they're saying?  These thoughts have been plaguing me for the past month."

Well isn't that deep?  Hehe, well perhaps i'm being mildly sarcastic, but, as I look at the words written and remember how I was feeling then, it starts to dawn on me just how true this snippet is and how I am still asking this, though perhaps in a slightly different way.  I stopped there and blinked, was I talking to myself in the future?  I felt that those words I'd written two and a half years ago spoke to what I am working through right now.  Then I blinked and continued on, slightly put off by how close to home my own words were hitting.

"This is getting hard to stand, is God testing me?  I will continue to trust in Him even though I can't understand it.  Why does everything seem to put me back with my problems even though they don't want to have anything to do with me."

While I like to think I'm past having trouble trusting God, He's incredibly good at pointing out just how often I fail at letting Him control my life and lead me.  Which He's been doing plenty of in the past month.  At this point I was starting to be very confused, did I write this two years ago or yesterday?  It didn't take very long before I started to get the feeling God was trying to show me something.  So I started to read on, wondering what was around the next page.

"So much has changed, can we with words describe the infinite power of God?  It will never be!  What I had thought to be sad, God has turned to joy, what I had thought bad, God has made perfect.  How great is His glory!  By the end of the week God turned my problems around and healed the brokenness.  At that point the pieces fell together and I finally understood God's plan for why He had not let me go to Barakel.  This was why, to learn and grow in a way I only could here."

I'm starting to get excited now!  God's got my best in mind and even when it seems like He's not letting me do the best thing for me, He secretly(or, actually, not secretly at all) is working in ways beyond my understanding to grow me closer to Him.

There is so much more, so many more problems I've gone through and again God gets me though as He draws me closer to Himself.  When I finished reading my journal I sat back and thought for a good few minutes thinking about how God used my own struggles in my past to remind me about how He'll get me through my future struggles.  He showed me that truth is far from relative; even when I didn't understand it or when I applied it in a different way, His truth is unchanging and will be useful to me no matter how old I am.

Well that was my journal, so what about the letter you might be asking.  Or maybe you're thinking this has been long enough, well you're getting both barrels so buckle up or get off.

I then picked up the letter and opened it more out of curiosity than anything else.  The exercise at youth group was to write a letter to yourself in a year and give yourself advice then from yourself now.  So I had already read the letter last year and I didn't think this was going to be anything more than pleasant nostalgia.  I was wrong.  Here is what I wrote.

"Well, it's next semester soon and you're about to face many new challenges, both spiritual and academically.  You've seen the kind of people there, how they act and how they live, and I challenge you to stand out.  I by no means am saying do something stupid or crazy(although you'll likely do both), I am simply saying to not let your windows grow dim or dirty.  The light that is in you is powerful and needs to be shone.  This being said, work your hardest, Love the fullest, and laugh the most(people will wonder what you're up to).  Also, don't fall prey to what you found out last year kept you under.  With your heart, guard it well, for God has someone out there and you simply have to find her.  Of course that doesn't mean to not be on the lookout or to not pursue anyone, it simply means that in all you pursue let God guide you and keep Him your central focus.  Always remember that you are different and it's a good thing, don't let what others say affect how you act or what you think.

Constantly remember, laugh often, care always, Love fully, and never give up on...???

Sincerely, Joshua Falk

P.S.  If she's the one, it won't be quick, easy, or overly emotional."

So, wait.  That was supposed to be to me last year?  I needed that right now, and I'm sure I'll need that next year!  Truth doesn't change.  It could have been a year ago I first read this, but in ten or even twenty years this would still be just as valuable and helpful to read as it just was.  Now I will concede this, it could do with some rewording; however, I easily overlook that in light of the potential power it contains.  Going into this upcoming semester I really needed that and I am now excited to see what I can do and who I'm going to impact as I let light inside shine!

Well to close this up I have a couple things to say:

~First, if you feel a prompting that you think you should do this whole letter to yourself thing I would absolutely encourage you to do it!  It's best to put it in the hand of someone you trust and you know will remember it in a year.  And if you do write it, take your time; write realizing what you struggle with and how you'll need to be encouraged in a year and what you think you'll be facing then.  Don't be ambiguous, be specific and if it doesn't apply in a year you can praise God for how He's grown you since then!
~Second, if you want someone to hold onto the letter for you I would be more than happy to!  Now if you don't know me well enough or don't feel comfortable with me holding onto it, that's fine; I'm just offering my help.  If you choose to accept my offer please try to get a handwritten letter into my hand and address it to where you want it to go in a year or instructions to contact you when I'm supposed to deliver it, and I'll take care of the rest.  If you want to go with an electronic copy I'll work with that too(even though I'd strongly suggest a handwritten copy) and will send it to you a year after you get it to me.
~Thirdly, you'll have to excuse me, as I am going to write a letter to myself that I won't see for a year.  Just so you know I am taking this to heart, I am planning on seeing where God has me in a year and how He's going to use me between now and then.  I don't know what condition I will receive the letter I'm about to write in, will I be closer to God or father away?  Will I have gotten past the struggles I'm going to write about or will it hit me close to home again?  I honestly don't know and I'm really excited!  If this goes as I hope it's going to, this letter will remind me of my passion for God as I head into my senior year and help me to finish college with my focus where it should be, on Christ and Christ alone!


Taking My Words Back to the Future,
Joshua

Post Campocalypse

Well for those of you that didn't know I've been at camp for the past couple months, what I've learned over the course of the summer is kinda up on my blog but to tell all of it would take a lot more than a blog could ever say.  But now that I'm out of camp and out of an environment of growth and discipleship, life's already fallen into a rut and I find myself wondering what's next?

Well I know what's next, right?  I'm heading off to college for my junior year at Cornerstone University.  But right now I'm wondering what's beyond that, or ever what's between then and now.  I simply feel like I'm doing nothing and I have nothing of worth to do, sitting in front of a computer writing, working, and playing video games.  Grand stuff.  I'm just feeling so useless right now.  But I'm not.  That's someone talking to me that I shouldn't be listening to.  As soon as I surrender to the fact I can't do anything until college starts up I am cutting God off from working in my life and being open to His promptings and directions.

So what can I do now?  Sitting here with little ability to get into the outside world seems like a place that I can't reach out from.  But that too is a lie.  I have one of the best ways to change the world around me right here, prayer.  I have an audience before The King of Kings through the Holy Spirit when I pray.  I can move mountains, change hearts, and strengthen others all through prayer!  Why do I think I am somehow doing something worthwhile when I'm running around busy with work than when I'm on my knees interceding for those around me?  It's because I like seeing things get done, and honestly prayer for others doesn't usually bring instant or sometimes even visible results.  But this summer has shown me how much prayer is a completely fundamental part of every believer's life.  And not just praying for a meal or sending up a prayer for a friend, but pouring your soul out to the Lord pleading and interceding for those around you.  I've never felt so alive as I do when I spend a good twenty minutes pouring my heart out for someone before God.  The feeling that you're standing before the God of the universe and laying open your heart to Him is amazing, but what's even better is that at the end I know He heard me and will answer my prayer in ways more wonderful than I could ever imagine.

Wow, and I haven't even touched on encouraging others who are pushing through the same as you are.  I'll leave that for another day, but if we all as a body started interceding for each other and encouraging each other would we ever run into times when we're feeling useless?  Quite probably, yes; however, I would think that no matter where we were God would show us just how much we're needed and how much He's using us even when we feel like we're doing nothing.

So to close this up, leaving camp is hard.  I'm no longer easily seeking God and I no longer have an 'easy' goal in sight.  It takes time, intentionaality, and the willingness to do some pretty radical things to stay on fire for Him after leaving camp, but it's possible, He's showing me how this very moment and I hope He's showing you too.  Because no matter where we are God can use us in amazing ways that we may not see at the moment or perhaps ever, but if you're following Him be assured He's using you.


Surviving the Post Campocalypse,
Joshua