The Corner of God's Will and My Plans

In what I'm doing, where do my own plans end and God's will begin?

That's a question I've been wrestling with recently.  I've been confronted by it many times in the past couple months as my own plans seem to be on shifting ground.  I wonder how much of what I'm pursuing is God's will and how much of it is my own ideas and plans.  This was brought to the forefront of my mind this morning through the words of Oswald Chambers.  "And yet the only thing that will keep us from even the possibility of worrying is to bring God in as the greatest factor in all of our planning."

My question arises, "When are my plans my plans, and when are my plans God's plans?"  Simply put, when is what I'm trying to do my own idea and when is it God's idea?  Is what I'm doing right now only my plan or God's will for me that I'm following.  Right now I'm questioning this.  Not so much questioning what I'm doing, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, but question why am I choosing what I'm choosing.  Is it because I get a feeling that it's what God wants or is it because I'm letting Him lead me where He wants?

Well I guess it's time to step back and take a look, sitting in the driver's seat is quite often a horrible way to figure out what's driving you.  Bad puns aside, to examine my motives I have to step back and look at myself honestly, which is possibly the hardest thing to do.  It's easy to look at yourself and make a judgement call, but many times harder to look at your own motives.  That's only really something God can do.  So to figure out what's driving me I need to listen to what God has to say.  The irony is not lost on me.

But that's what Chambers said in the first place, to truly get rid of any doubt and worry I have to to fully to God.  Amazing how it all eventually finds its way back to Him anyways.

This whole post has really been me putting my raw thoughts into words and as I draw to the end of this post I get a feeling of discontinuity, obscurity, and disorganization.  But I guess that just honestly reflects how far I've come in asking myself this question.  Not far.  I'm still confused and lost as to why I've chosen the path I'm on.  However, my only consolation is that no matter what road I'm on, God's Will or My Plans, God is right next to me, and, if I trust in Him completely, He will lead me where He wants me to go as long as I am willing to listen.


Driving in the Dark(for now),
Joshua