*DISCLAIMER* This post contains content somewhat more explicit in nature than my normal posts and I will be being completely open, just a heads up. *DISCLAIMER*
The other day I was asked a series of questions by a camper of mine that got me to thinking. He was asking about whether or not saving your first kiss for your wedding day is Biblical or not. Well I brought that up with one of my guy friends and we proceeded to knock the question around. We were quickly joined by a couple of girls that decided they wanted to hear our thoughts on the matter.
The resulting conversation went back and forth, and in the end we hadn't really come to any conclusion on the subject but we had agreed. It's not in the Bible but it's important. I will not go into the conversation or share exactly what we talked about, but it made me ask myself some questions about purity and the standard held by those around me versus the standard held by God.
So what is purity? I've heard it talked about A LOT this summer, probably more this summer than I have my entire life and that's saying something. But in all I've heard, I've felt something lacking and something missing in the standards set and held by those teaching them. Not to say they don't live up to their own standard, they do, and I am inspired by that and their actions coupled with their words. However I still feel something missing. I feel this emphasis on purity and, though we don't say it, we seem to look on a lack of purity as this "bad" sin. As if sin wasn't bad enough we have to single it out as something we need to focus on more, and those that achieve it are made out as special.
Now if I sound a bit opinionated on this topic it's because I am. I personally have kept a very "high" standard of purity according to most people. I haven't kissed anyone and I've never had sex with anyone. The latter is held by most people as the standard of purity and the former is mostly held by the rest. And hey I'll even go the extra mile for those that have an even higher standard, I've never been in a relationship with someone. So there, by all standards I am this pure person who has kept himself untouched from the world around me. But this is not so. Man is very fond of looking at the outward appearance and seems far too often to skip over the heart, just as 1 Samuel 16:7 says-
"...for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."When we bring the heart into play a whole range of new problems arise. When we look at the things we do in secret and things that we do mentally the line of purity becomes far out of reach. I have looked at pornography, have masturbated, and have thought thoughts that, far from being pure, are entirely impure(warned you this was coming). I've suddenly fallen off the purity pedestal and am sinking in my own shame. This is where I stand in the debate about and the striving for purity, black and tainted. When we talk about this level of purity most(if not all!) people fall far short of the standard of being unspotted by the things of this world; because, even one failure results in no longer being completely unspotted.
This is my stance on purity. Pretty bleak huh? Most people prefer sticking to those seemingly nice black and white purity which looks at a person's virginity as their "seal" of purity. But look anywhere in the Bible and this outlandishly strict take on purity is exactly what God requires and deserves.
Now at this point I would like to say that this post is not to rip down people with standards for purity. In fact I applaud anyone who sets a bar for purity in their life and strives to live up to it. However, this is about my take on purity and to understand it you have to realize how impure we are and how even a little failure is all it takes to lose our pureness.
Now to take it a step further, what about lying, or cursing, or hating? When we do any of these we have been spotted by the things of this world and have become impure. If you begin to feel I'm being a bit absurd here, then you're starting to catch on. The standard of purity we have doesn't cut it when you start to look at how broken we are and how perfect we are called to be. This rolls into my look at purity quite well, we are all broken and no one has truly lived a pure life. At this point I'd like to point out that I don't believe this is the end. I trust in Jesus Christ as my savior and that he's taken my sin and impurity upon himself.
This is the most amazing thing I can ever write! We are completely impure yet we have one that makes us pure again! So how do I approach purity in my own life and in the lives of others? I strive to be everything God calls me to be; that means rising above what this world has placed as the standards of what pure means and what we look for when we look for purity and seeking after Him solely. This affects my view of others and their purity by the simple fact that no matter how they fail in their purity they can be washed clean by the blood of Jesus, as it says in Hebrews 10:19-22
"Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water."It doesn't matter how we fall, if we repent and turn to Jesus as the only way to be pure then He will make us pure! The key there is repenting, which requires a change in heart.
So to wrap this up, I want to answer the question asked me, how I would feel if I saw my future wife(implied that God showed me who she would be) kissing another man? To turn it on myself, how would my future wife feel if I was lying to someone or hating someone? Or how about any of the other things mentioned that I have fallen in? I would hope that she doesn't see me, but she sees the One who's washed me clean from all my impurities. Then I hope she would pray for me that I wouldn't fall again and that I would seek the ONLY One that can keep me truly pure, Jesus Christ. And in honesty that's what I'd do if I saw my future wife kissing someone else, I'd look past her to the One who's done so much more for me than I can ever repay and fall to my knees as I cry out for her to the only One who CAN keep her pure and CAN keep me pure.
Fighting for Purity the Only Way Possible, On My Knees,
Joshua
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