Finding The One

Most of you know me at least a little and the fact that I tend to break norms and am not a huge fan of what is popular in culture is often how I am and it can even get a little frustrating at times I'm sure. Well, I always thought that if something was popular in culture that it was suspicious. I'm not sure why. But I tend to question practices, eschew norms, and flat out disagree about certain issues. But that is just background for what's been on my mind the past week.

So, during my quiet times I've been reading through the minor prophets a lot and one thing has stuck out to me, the fact that what's popular is usually what's wrong. So many times in Israel, God's chosen nation even, the people fall into thinking that something is acceptable or that a particular practice is how it's supposed to be. Then a prophet comes along and God informs them that His people need to come back to Him. They are usually following idols, sacrificing children, or trusting in other nations to save them. No big deal, right? I mean every other nation around them is doing it so it has to be right...or not.

Thus, during the past week, I've been seeing more and more how relevant that is. We as Christians in America tend to take our social cues, ways of looking at life, and many of our ideas from the culture around us. What is taken as true by most Americans is true for us, as long as it doesn't contradict scripture of course. Right? Wrong.

The radio was on at work the other day and it was playing some pop music station and a song came on about 'the one' and finding 'the one' or finally marrying them. The song barely registered in my conscious as painted but when it was almost over everything clicked into place. Popular culture says that we are all waiting for our 'one.' The handsome guy who will sweep you off your feet and is your prince charming. The special girl who is like no other and has been waiting for you her whole life.

Red flag. My mind remembered back to the minor prophets and started practicing my negative capabilities. I ran the concept of 'the one' through the Word of God and came up blank. Zip, zero, nadda. I couldn't think of any time God said that He had picked out a special someone for everyone. He never said that if we didn't find the right person everything would go wrong or we'd have a terrible life. Actually not even close. The only time He even gets close to 'the one' is when He's talking about already married couples, because they become one and should never be separated.

So, I started thinking about what God does say. As a guy my mind went to a wife. Today I just read Proverbs 31 and so what leaped across my mind was the last couple verses where it says,

"...But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."

Pretty simple, a woman who fears the Lord is the end of a whole chapter describing the perfect wife. That one trait, not being 'the one' but fearing God is what makes the best wife. Now, I know that the same thing is true about a man. It isn't whether he is good looking, suave, or rich, but whether or not he fears God.

Now I'm not saying someone can't be more compatible with one person that with a different person, but what really matters is not compatibility or being 'the one' but whether or not they fear God. Because I believe from that fear of God will come humility, patience, kindness, and everything else that will make a marriage work, no matter how different the two may be.

So, that has been on my mind the past week and wanted to get it off my shoulders. I used to be looking for 'the one', but then I realized God can do anything and can make anyone the one person I am going to marry. That freed me from trying to figure out who was my needle in the haystack and focus instead on Loving those around me and caring for the hurting and the needy. And you know, when I did that something amazing happened, but that's a story for another time ;]


Remembering God is the Only One,
Joshua