I'm still floored.
I was approached the other day by someone who told me that I had made a difference. I had blessed someone I didn't even know with actions I hadn't thought mattered. I had made a difference in the midst of others who didn't seem to care. Some of them just stand and stare at me, thinking I'm a fool or crazy. I am both, but that doesn't change the fact that how I act is part of who I am. This simple truth, that what I do is part of more than just me. It affects more than just who we are; it connects those around us with us, community.
All that to say I was floored. When I was told I was looked up to and not ignored. I never thought my actions could inspire or that people cared. I was just being me. I guess it's so funny to see yourself in the mirror that someone holds up when they show what you've done. The lives you've touched, perhaps hearts you've won. But it all fades away, becomes nothing, without the Son.
All that to say I am not all that. My God's the one so great; He's taken a sinner like me and is making him a saint. He's the one shining through when people see me worship. I am not full of praise for his grace on my own, and without Him I am just a man in search of meaning. He gives me purpose and from that I praise; I praise His name, I laud His fame, and to me it's all the same. This purpose, this praise, they're both a reactor to the factor of what He's done in me. It's Him, not me, you see.
All that to say I am not going to change. That's not to say I'm perfect. I'm still flawed, still fall and stumble as I try to follow my Lord. But I can't do it on my own; it's only Christ in me and this I know. God took a sinner and changed his heart. That's just it; not of works that I have done but the sacrifice of God's Holy Son. So, like I said, I am not going to change, but God has changed me, is changing me, and will change me through the power of His Spirit. And the moment comes when just being you is letting God work through you.
That's what I see when people laud me. I see God working so powerfully in my life that it's changed, and it'll never be the same. From darkness to light, out of sin's eternal night, freed from death's blight; I am saved. Saved from myself, saved from sinning, and saved from never being able to change. Now He's done it and it's He who's begun it and He who shines through this broken man.
Well, sorry if that post is a bit weird or you couldn't follow it, I was trying my hand at spoken word. Ironically not spoken, but decided to put it down here anyway since it's been on my mind recently.
Letting God Shine Through,
Joshua
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