What have I been faced with a lot recently and find myself wondering about? Dating. Say that word and you will get an incredibly diverse response from whoever you're talking to, ranging from shrugging it off as an everyday occurrence to outright opposition to it. Now there are so many blogs, articles, and papers about the topic from probably every vantage point possible that this isn't a researched or well-planned post, it is just my opinions on the subject. Now first off I'd like to say that I've never dated anyone, and though I don't have the personal experience, I've seen people around me go through dating relationships with success, failure, and everything in between.
One of the biggest arguments when it comes to dating is whether or not it's Biblical. I've heard it roundly debunked for being unBiblical and that courtship is the only way to go, and I've also heard a version of dating that are Biblically "okay". Yet both of these are wrong, because they bring dating into sole focus trying to determine whether or not it's "good", "right", or "Biblical", but that just undercuts God's place in the relationship, putting the relationship itself in the center focus instead of God. This, I feel, is the main problem with dating, or most relationships, these days. We put whether or not dating is right or if we are doing it in a way that pleases God before whether or not we pursue God. This is the start of the slide that is oft times part of dating, putting your relationship before God in one way or another. However, this has become normative in relationships and if you put someone or something before the person you're dating then you'll be bound to break up. Yet that's how it has to be, if God's not your focus when dating someone it's really easy to lose the focus on them and let yourself slip into the focus of the relationship. When this happens it isn't necessarily a sudden occurrence or a seemingly bad occurrence; it is a slight change in what you want from the relationship and a slight change in how you approach it every day. Also this tendency to place the other person as the focus of the relationship tends to bring the heart into play in a way that can end up hurting one or both people even if they stay together.
Now I say all that as kind of a forewarning, a prerequisite to my opinions as it were. Because sometimes there are things you need to know about how something can go bad before you can look at how it can work.
Now the first thing I have to say about dating in my opinion is what the focus needs to be. For most people, if not all people, the focus is getting to know the other person and usually seeing if that person would be compatible with you for the rest of your life. While that isn't an innately bad thing, if it turns out you aren't compatible then the hurt that can follow is bad. For me the focus of a dating relationship would be to grow the other person spiritually and lead them closer to Christ. A instant rebuttal for that would be that you're not going to get to know them or if you would be compatible if you are only focused on getting them closer to God, and I would disagree. When you invest in someone in such a way as to grow them spiritually, you'll see them at their worst and what parts of them that need to change for them to become more like Christ. I'll be honest, you aren't gonna get more real than that, and you'd be hard pressed to find a way to see if you are compatible with someone than for each of you to see each other at their worst, at their most broken.
This focus on God changes the dating relationship from one with a goal that is whether or not you want to stay with the person for life, which can end in pain and hurt, to growing them in Christ, which ends in edifying each other. And the beauty of placing God as the center and the goal is that if one or the other decides to end the relationship then you can rest in the confidence that God has something better in store for them. While this might not make a break-up easier persay, it also lets you rest in the knowledge that God has something better in store for you also.
Lastly, it doesn't end there. When you get married it continues; you start to work together even closer to point each other towards Christ and a closer walk with Him. While the difference between marriage and dating are huge, they share the same goal and that's what gives them their power. Because whenever you forsake your own desires to help someone else and to put them before yourself something amazing happens; you show them Love. And while it's the most thrown around word, it's the least shown action.
Well this has been my thoughts on dating. It hasn't been comprehensive and, again, it is just my thoughts on the subject. My views on it might change in the future as I get into my first relationship and experience this firsthand, but from what little I do know this is where I stand.
Waiting to Lead,
Joshua
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
The Corner of God's Will and My Plans
In what I'm doing, where do my own plans end and God's will begin?
That's a question I've been wrestling with recently. I've been confronted by it many times in the past couple months as my own plans seem to be on shifting ground. I wonder how much of what I'm pursuing is God's will and how much of it is my own ideas and plans. This was brought to the forefront of my mind this morning through the words of Oswald Chambers. "And yet the only thing that will keep us from even the possibility of worrying is to bring God in as the greatest factor in all of our planning."
My question arises, "When are my plans my plans, and when are my plans God's plans?" Simply put, when is what I'm trying to do my own idea and when is it God's idea? Is what I'm doing right now only my plan or God's will for me that I'm following. Right now I'm questioning this. Not so much questioning what I'm doing, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, but question why am I choosing what I'm choosing. Is it because I get a feeling that it's what God wants or is it because I'm letting Him lead me where He wants?
Well I guess it's time to step back and take a look, sitting in the driver's seat is quite often a horrible way to figure out what's driving you. Bad puns aside, to examine my motives I have to step back and look at myself honestly, which is possibly the hardest thing to do. It's easy to look at yourself and make a judgement call, but many times harder to look at your own motives. That's only really something God can do. So to figure out what's driving me I need to listen to what God has to say. The irony is not lost on me.
But that's what Chambers said in the first place, to truly get rid of any doubt and worry I have to to fully to God. Amazing how it all eventually finds its way back to Him anyways.
This whole post has really been me putting my raw thoughts into words and as I draw to the end of this post I get a feeling of discontinuity, obscurity, and disorganization. But I guess that just honestly reflects how far I've come in asking myself this question. Not far. I'm still confused and lost as to why I've chosen the path I'm on. However, my only consolation is that no matter what road I'm on, God's Will or My Plans, God is right next to me, and, if I trust in Him completely, He will lead me where He wants me to go as long as I am willing to listen.
Driving in the Dark(for now),
Joshua
That's a question I've been wrestling with recently. I've been confronted by it many times in the past couple months as my own plans seem to be on shifting ground. I wonder how much of what I'm pursuing is God's will and how much of it is my own ideas and plans. This was brought to the forefront of my mind this morning through the words of Oswald Chambers. "And yet the only thing that will keep us from even the possibility of worrying is to bring God in as the greatest factor in all of our planning."
My question arises, "When are my plans my plans, and when are my plans God's plans?" Simply put, when is what I'm trying to do my own idea and when is it God's idea? Is what I'm doing right now only my plan or God's will for me that I'm following. Right now I'm questioning this. Not so much questioning what I'm doing, I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be, but question why am I choosing what I'm choosing. Is it because I get a feeling that it's what God wants or is it because I'm letting Him lead me where He wants?
Well I guess it's time to step back and take a look, sitting in the driver's seat is quite often a horrible way to figure out what's driving you. Bad puns aside, to examine my motives I have to step back and look at myself honestly, which is possibly the hardest thing to do. It's easy to look at yourself and make a judgement call, but many times harder to look at your own motives. That's only really something God can do. So to figure out what's driving me I need to listen to what God has to say. The irony is not lost on me.
But that's what Chambers said in the first place, to truly get rid of any doubt and worry I have to to fully to God. Amazing how it all eventually finds its way back to Him anyways.
This whole post has really been me putting my raw thoughts into words and as I draw to the end of this post I get a feeling of discontinuity, obscurity, and disorganization. But I guess that just honestly reflects how far I've come in asking myself this question. Not far. I'm still confused and lost as to why I've chosen the path I'm on. However, my only consolation is that no matter what road I'm on, God's Will or My Plans, God is right next to me, and, if I trust in Him completely, He will lead me where He wants me to go as long as I am willing to listen.
Driving in the Dark(for now),
Joshua
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Watching the Sun Set
"The gray sky stretches from horizon to horizon, blank, as light clouds cover the face of the sky. Suddenly a jagged rip in the clouds reveals the sun, shining brightly at the end of the day. Around the rip in the clouds it's a deep blue gray fading back to gray as it get's farther away from the sun. As the horizon dips to meet the earth, the bottom of the clouds are set afire by the rays of the swiftly setting sun as it sinks beneath and behind the clouds covering the canopy of the sky. And, as the sun dips below the horizon, the gray clouds are still dark and bleak while their undersides are covered in a blaze of pinks, reds, and oranges."
I just wrote that as I looked out the window over my shoulder. Some days I don't learn some great revelation that will change how I live or find out some astounding truth about my God; some days I'm simply watching the sun set. The sky simply lights up in an astounding display of colors that put so many 'beautiful' things to shame using only the sun and the clouds. And that's exactly how I need it, if I was experiencing revelation every day I might either become insensitive to it by it becoming normative, or I might becoming numbed by the constant exposure to revelation.
Or am I being shown something right now? In the middle of a this gorgeous light show something can be seen beyond the colors. I see a message. It's a message for me from someone who deals on a lot grander scale than just skies most of the time, he's busy moving the universe and changing hearts. Yet sometimes he reaches out and touches the sky when I'm looking just to say, "I'm here, and this is from me."
Sometimes I'm so focused on changing now and I want results immediately. It's somewhat like the sun lighting up the bottom of the clouds, I try to make a sunset that reaches the whole sky, but am only able to light up the underside of the clouds; the part of the sunset that is even blocked form view if there are any trees. I feel like I'm not changing anything important, just the part you can't see. Yet as time goes on and the sun sets farther, the light escapes the bottom of the clouds and starts slipping up them, reaching higher. It's no longer bright, vibrant colors, but purples and dark violets. I see change happening yet I get discouraged as it doesn't seem to be what I was expecting or wanting to happen. If I turn away there, I wait for the next time a sunset starts and see if maybe then I can change. However, as you keep watching, which takes time, you see the colors change. The clouds give way before the light of the sun and the pinks, reds, and oranges light up the whole sky as the sun finally dips completely below the horizon. The change in the sky is complete, from drab gray to a soft expanse of fading color. The change in me can as complete if I wait on the Lord to complete it, but if I leave or look away, thinking it's taking too long or not seeing the change I want, then I miss out on the possibilities God has for me and the change he has planned in my life.
Well there we go, guess I am always learning after all. And as the sunset ends it gets even more vivid for the last few minutes, well here's hoping that as what God's teaching me right now draws to a close I shine all the more brilliantly for Him.
Watching God's Color in My Life,
Joshua
I just wrote that as I looked out the window over my shoulder. Some days I don't learn some great revelation that will change how I live or find out some astounding truth about my God; some days I'm simply watching the sun set. The sky simply lights up in an astounding display of colors that put so many 'beautiful' things to shame using only the sun and the clouds. And that's exactly how I need it, if I was experiencing revelation every day I might either become insensitive to it by it becoming normative, or I might becoming numbed by the constant exposure to revelation.
Or am I being shown something right now? In the middle of a this gorgeous light show something can be seen beyond the colors. I see a message. It's a message for me from someone who deals on a lot grander scale than just skies most of the time, he's busy moving the universe and changing hearts. Yet sometimes he reaches out and touches the sky when I'm looking just to say, "I'm here, and this is from me."
Sometimes I'm so focused on changing now and I want results immediately. It's somewhat like the sun lighting up the bottom of the clouds, I try to make a sunset that reaches the whole sky, but am only able to light up the underside of the clouds; the part of the sunset that is even blocked form view if there are any trees. I feel like I'm not changing anything important, just the part you can't see. Yet as time goes on and the sun sets farther, the light escapes the bottom of the clouds and starts slipping up them, reaching higher. It's no longer bright, vibrant colors, but purples and dark violets. I see change happening yet I get discouraged as it doesn't seem to be what I was expecting or wanting to happen. If I turn away there, I wait for the next time a sunset starts and see if maybe then I can change. However, as you keep watching, which takes time, you see the colors change. The clouds give way before the light of the sun and the pinks, reds, and oranges light up the whole sky as the sun finally dips completely below the horizon. The change in the sky is complete, from drab gray to a soft expanse of fading color. The change in me can as complete if I wait on the Lord to complete it, but if I leave or look away, thinking it's taking too long or not seeing the change I want, then I miss out on the possibilities God has for me and the change he has planned in my life.
Well there we go, guess I am always learning after all. And as the sunset ends it gets even more vivid for the last few minutes, well here's hoping that as what God's teaching me right now draws to a close I shine all the more brilliantly for Him.
Watching God's Color in My Life,
Joshua
Monday, July 1, 2013
Words of Power
It's amazing how incredibly powerful words on a page can be. A book can change lives and hearts for the better or worse. Recently I've read a book called Elantris by Brandon Sanderson. The book is excellent and very much worth the read, but in particular a certain part stepped out to me. A certain phrase actually. So as to not spoil the book for those that haven't read it and might want to I will simply say the phrase. It is spoke from one priest to another and the first asks the second, "What happened to your faith?" This phrase by itself doesn't mean too much to me in the context where it is in the book, but for some reason it stood out to me. Over the past few weeks I've been wrestling with this phrase as it keeps wandering back into my head, "What happened to your faith?"
After not wanting to confront it, God made it perfectly clear that I needed to address this simple question from the book I'd read. I didn't, and still don't want to, examine it and ask myself those words, but a relentless God is impossible to say no to.
First off I am rational, probably my first fault. I like examining things mentally and cross examining them until I come up with a logical conclusion. To me my faith is entirely logical and for me to not believe would be like throwing rationality out the window. Yet from this comes my first problem, stepping out in true faith is hard. Now I step out in faith all the time but to me it's almost always a logical step. And stepping out when I am uncertain of what's ahead or when I am unable to see the end is a nightmare for me. In the beginning of my faith and belief in Christ, everything was an uncertainty and every step's end was hidden from sight; yet, I stepped out in faith and was willing to let God work in and through me.
But now I won't trust Him when He asks me to step out in true faith, blindly following His lead. What happened to me? It's only been three years since I was saved and a year and a half since I've truly given Him my life. Where has my faith gone in such a short time? Can it just disappear that quickly? Apparently so.
The question roils around in my head even now, and, even better yet, what do I do now?
I still haven't answered that last question. I have only decided to close my eyes and ask God to be the fire inside of me; because, without Him I will be lost in my own 'common sense' and reason.
Have I then found my faith? My mind doesn't want to think so, because it sees nothing changed. But my heart knows one thing, my heavenly father uses the weak and simple to lead the strong and wise, and He has a great plan for me despite my failings. His power is made perfect in my weakness, but only when I recognize that I am weak. And right now I am weak; finally humbling myself to allow Him the room to move in my life for the first time in quite a while.
These words will stick with me now as a constant reminder of my own brokenness and a check against my own pride. These simple, yet powerful, words, "What happened to your faith?"
Battling Through the Hard Questions,
Joshua
After not wanting to confront it, God made it perfectly clear that I needed to address this simple question from the book I'd read. I didn't, and still don't want to, examine it and ask myself those words, but a relentless God is impossible to say no to.
First off I am rational, probably my first fault. I like examining things mentally and cross examining them until I come up with a logical conclusion. To me my faith is entirely logical and for me to not believe would be like throwing rationality out the window. Yet from this comes my first problem, stepping out in true faith is hard. Now I step out in faith all the time but to me it's almost always a logical step. And stepping out when I am uncertain of what's ahead or when I am unable to see the end is a nightmare for me. In the beginning of my faith and belief in Christ, everything was an uncertainty and every step's end was hidden from sight; yet, I stepped out in faith and was willing to let God work in and through me.
But now I won't trust Him when He asks me to step out in true faith, blindly following His lead. What happened to me? It's only been three years since I was saved and a year and a half since I've truly given Him my life. Where has my faith gone in such a short time? Can it just disappear that quickly? Apparently so.
The question roils around in my head even now, and, even better yet, what do I do now?
I still haven't answered that last question. I have only decided to close my eyes and ask God to be the fire inside of me; because, without Him I will be lost in my own 'common sense' and reason.
Have I then found my faith? My mind doesn't want to think so, because it sees nothing changed. But my heart knows one thing, my heavenly father uses the weak and simple to lead the strong and wise, and He has a great plan for me despite my failings. His power is made perfect in my weakness, but only when I recognize that I am weak. And right now I am weak; finally humbling myself to allow Him the room to move in my life for the first time in quite a while.
These words will stick with me now as a constant reminder of my own brokenness and a check against my own pride. These simple, yet powerful, words, "What happened to your faith?"
Battling Through the Hard Questions,
Joshua
Sunday, June 30, 2013
The Terms of Surrender
What does God have for me? Is it to be an author, an engineer, or a missionary? No matter what my calling is, God has a plan for me to achieve great things. Now these great things may not be great by the world's standards or be heard of by many people, but they will be great in God's eyes. However, am I working and living towards this greatness or am I becoming contented with where I'm at or where I think I'm going?
After examining myself I find myself far too content with where I think I'm going. I have surrendered my life to God but am only letting Him work through my plans and ambitions. Now I am trying to re-orient my plans and ambitions to be in alignment with God's, but that's not good enough. That's not what God calls us to. I am to surrender my whole being to His will and His path for my life. As I was confronted with this realization at church, God asked me a single irrefutable question, "Will you surrender all?" This came in the words of a song.
You won't relent until you have it all,
My heart is yours.
You won't relent until you have it all,
My heart is yours.
Come be the fire inside of me,
Come be the flame upon my heart.
Come be the fire inside of me,
Until You and I are one
Will I lose my possessions for Him? Will I lose my comfortable middle class life for Him? Will I lose my health for Him? Will I lose my own purpose for Him? Will I even give up my life for Him(or harder yet, give my life up to Him)? If the answer to all of those is not yes, then I may as well turn away now. This is the question hH put before me and the decision I was faced with. These are His Terms of Surrender, Unconditional Surrender. This simple release of what I hold as my own and letting Him become my everything. Not an easy task and not something I took lightly. For a while I struggled within myself as to whether or not I could let go of those things I held so dear. My desire to be an author, my desire to have a family, and even my desire to live comfortably. I had to let go, turn away, or hold on to them and still attempt to follow God.
Before I even made up my mind, my God had made it up for me in the first line of the song, "You won't relent until you have it all." Even as I warred within myself He gave me a peace that, even though I knew I couldn't give up everything in my own strength, He would help lay myself down every step of the way and that the great I Am will never leave me alone. For I Am never alone.
Agreeing to Unconditional Surrender,
Joshua
After examining myself I find myself far too content with where I think I'm going. I have surrendered my life to God but am only letting Him work through my plans and ambitions. Now I am trying to re-orient my plans and ambitions to be in alignment with God's, but that's not good enough. That's not what God calls us to. I am to surrender my whole being to His will and His path for my life. As I was confronted with this realization at church, God asked me a single irrefutable question, "Will you surrender all?" This came in the words of a song.
You won't relent until you have it all,
My heart is yours.
You won't relent until you have it all,
My heart is yours.
Come be the fire inside of me,
Come be the flame upon my heart.
Come be the fire inside of me,
Until You and I are one
Will I lose my possessions for Him? Will I lose my comfortable middle class life for Him? Will I lose my health for Him? Will I lose my own purpose for Him? Will I even give up my life for Him(or harder yet, give my life up to Him)? If the answer to all of those is not yes, then I may as well turn away now. This is the question hH put before me and the decision I was faced with. These are His Terms of Surrender, Unconditional Surrender. This simple release of what I hold as my own and letting Him become my everything. Not an easy task and not something I took lightly. For a while I struggled within myself as to whether or not I could let go of those things I held so dear. My desire to be an author, my desire to have a family, and even my desire to live comfortably. I had to let go, turn away, or hold on to them and still attempt to follow God.
Before I even made up my mind, my God had made it up for me in the first line of the song, "You won't relent until you have it all." Even as I warred within myself He gave me a peace that, even though I knew I couldn't give up everything in my own strength, He would help lay myself down every step of the way and that the great I Am will never leave me alone. For I Am never alone.
Agreeing to Unconditional Surrender,
Joshua
Saturday, June 29, 2013
The Stand
As I look at the world around me I see something that hasn't changed no matter the geography, political climate, or religious background, I see hate. And that is really getting me down right now. I guess that's one of the things about me that I am at the same time thankful and occasionally resentful about, the ability to feel what's around me. Going from a place where those around me were centered on Christ to a place where everyone should be centered on God but seem to have a slightly different center has been a bit disconcerting to say the least. And right now I am feeling that along with the hate around me and it's putting me off center. It's taking me away from my God who needs to be my all in all and that is what's getting me down. Yet whenever something like this happens God has a way of sending me a message, a simple piece of piano music, an encouragement from a friend, or a whisper in the wind that says, "I'm still here and, no matter what those around you do or are, I Am Love and I Am with you."
The simple truth I am broken and still I am loved is the only thing that gives me the strength to go on some days. Today is one of those days, and how awesome is my God who, though he doesn't have to, pours that love on me when I least deserve it. My answer to the hate around me is that to God there is a right and a wrong, yet above it all God cares for and loves every person. Ignore either of them and you end up with someone who's less than God, but take them together and you have a call to be different when so many people are choosing the easy way.
Taking a stand isn't changing one thing and ignoring the rest, it is leaving yourself behind and letting God pull you up to him out of your brokenness and blindness to his healing and love. Time to stand amid hate and self-centeredness and heal the broken and downtrodden.
Taking The Stand,
Joshua
The simple truth I am broken and still I am loved is the only thing that gives me the strength to go on some days. Today is one of those days, and how awesome is my God who, though he doesn't have to, pours that love on me when I least deserve it. My answer to the hate around me is that to God there is a right and a wrong, yet above it all God cares for and loves every person. Ignore either of them and you end up with someone who's less than God, but take them together and you have a call to be different when so many people are choosing the easy way.
Taking a stand isn't changing one thing and ignoring the rest, it is leaving yourself behind and letting God pull you up to him out of your brokenness and blindness to his healing and love. Time to stand amid hate and self-centeredness and heal the broken and downtrodden.
Taking The Stand,
Joshua
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