Well, I feel the pull to write again. As with last time, I'm not sure what this is about either, but here goes.
Life is uncertain, at least that's certain. Life is complicated, simply complicated. Life is unknown, but we know how it will go. I could go on. Life is full of seeming paradoxes. As I look around me I see rules or laws and exceptions to each and every one. There's justice, but times when it is overlooked. People make promises, but break them if they want to. Love is given, and then it is taken back. Safety is taken for granted, until it is violently taken away. All broken... Everything around me. I see people hurting because of how these lies of life have left them hurt and empty. As I see that, I could despair.
But it doesn't end there.
I then see something else, I see Jesus. Now you might write that off as cheap sentimentality, or a crutch. To put it bluntly, you would be wrong. Let me come at it from how I've been seeing it recently.
Jesus is certain, He shows us who He is through the Bible; the whole Bible, cover to cover. Jesus is complex, but not complicated; He is simple as well. Jesus allows us to know who He is and desires to reveal himself to us in everyday life and through His word, the Bible. I could go on. Jesus doesn't disappoint. We might be disappointed in Him, but He doesn't let us down, we simply don't like what He's saying. It could be too hard for us. We might not be able to do it ourselves. We might not see why we should do it. It might seem like it's not the right path. Our pile of excuses accumulate until you feel like you're justified in what you're saying or doing. And that's when you expect something that you see all around you, Jesus to give up because it's not worth it. But, He doesn't.
That's what I've seen this week. I have messed up, some ways larger than others, but He's right there letting me know that He's still working with me, alongside me, and for me. It blows my mind so much... I don't understand how and why God blesses me the way He does and I don't know why He brings me through the hard times when I'm not even worth saving. But that's the beauty of Jesus, He saves those that don't deserve it. So, that's part of my week.
Well, it's about that time of the year. My birthday is only eight days away. I'm not usually one to really think about it. But now I'm excited for my birthday. That weekend is going to be refreshing, my birthday is going to be exciting, and I will return to school ready to face anew the rest of the semester.
Honestly, I'm tired. I'm tired of classes already, I'm physically tired, and I'm tired of not feeling spiritually full. But I'm facing each day asking for strength for today, and now I know Jesus will provide it. Maybe only enough strength for each moment, but I'm given enough strength. It makes me rely on Jesus moment by moment, and any time I don't life crashes. I have to take it one step at a time. It makes it tedious at times, and I often feel like everything's moving slow but I'm beginning to see that this full reliance is where I'm supposed to be with God. By now my exhaustion is probably talking so I'll close this up for tonight. I'm excited to be relying on the one person I know is constant and will be able to carry me through life and life's problems.
Living Life By Jesus' Strength Daily,
Joshua
